Adventures in Chicago
by oflettersandwords
Summary: Rootlessdream's contest entry. The flock goes to Chicago and, of course, interesting antics ensue. I tried to stay IC. Prior to 'The Final Warning'. T for innuendos, like always. Oneshot. This won second place. Yay!


**Written for Rootlessdream on Maximum-X's contest.**

* * *

We were in Chicago. And it was _cold_.

"Look! It's the hairy one again!" Gazzy whisper-shouted, pointing to a woman wearing a long fur coat and one of those raccoon hats – except it wasn't raccoon, it was a darker brown fur, that made her head look _really_ huge. Nudge and Angel giggled while I shot Gazzy a disapproving look.

"Gazzy that's not nice, she looks, er, lovely," I said, grimacing as the woman wandered past us again. _What in the world was she looking for?_

"Max, can we get something to drink?" Nudge asked.

"Nudge, we stopped a half an hour ago. We really, really need to find somewhere to stay. If you think of an idea of where to stay, then we can get a drink," I said.

"What about on top of that big Ferris Wheel," Nudge said, pointing to that huge Ferris Wheel that they have at Navy Pier.

"Sure," Iggy said, "And afterwards we'll streak through the park."

I wasted a glare on Iggy. "What Iggy means, Nudge," I said, "Is that sleeping on a ride would probably not be the best idea. Especially one at Navy Pier. Aren't there like, security guards watching it or something?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Nudge muttered.

Another five minutes and we had still found nowhere to sleep for the night.

"Max, please? I really, really need something to drink. I'm starting to feel delirious," Nudge complained.

"Nudge, my ears. You are _killing_ them," Iggy said as Nudge continued on her tangent.

"Maybe something fizzy. Yeah, fizzy would be so good right now."

"No way, Nudge," Iggy said, fear sneaking onto his face. "If you get something fizzy you will be way too perky. You're too perky now."

"I don't think she's perky," Total put in. "I could go for something fizzy too, Max."

"Total! Not talking, we're in a public place!" I chastised. He huffed and Angel giggled.

"Max?" Nudge asked again, "Can we please get something to drink now."

"I swear, I'm about to go on a rampage," I muttered to Fang.

He smirked annoyingly. "Wait until I give the signal."

I glared at him. "You're… a beast. A horrible beast that takes excessive joy in my annoyance, aggravation, irritation, and frustration," I said.

His smirk grew. "Raid a thesaurus this morning?"

"I hope you know that as soon as the flock is asleep I will be on top of you, beating you senseless," I growled.

Angel whispered something to Nudge and they giggled.

"What?" I asked, exasperated.

"Nothing," they said sweetly, and in unison. Creepy.

"Tell me," I said in my leader voice.

"You're not going to be happy if we tell you," Angel said, still giggling.

"Nudge, if you tell me I'll go get you a huge root beer."

"Angel said that Fang doesn't care what you do as long as you're on top of him."

Iggy burst out laughing, Gazzy gave Fang a disgusted look, and Total looked at Fang as though he were a piece of dirt.

"That is no way to think of a lady," Total said. "And it's no way to think of Max either."

Iggy laughed harder and I let out my breath slowly.

"Total, no more talking. At _all_."

I turned and resisted the urge to growl.

"Fang, anything you care to explain?"

He had suddenly become very interested in the sign for a store to his right.

"Uh, no, I'm good," he said emotionlessly.

I glared at him and turned stiffly.

"Iggy, shut it," I said, punching his arm softly as I passed him.

"Anyone else want something to drink?" I asked, heading for a McDonald's at the corner of the street.

I was met with a chorus of 'yes's and several different drink orders.

I returned a few minutes later and handed everyone drinks.

"Why don't we just go find a forest to sleep in?" I suggested.

"Sure," Fang said. I shot him a look.

Iggy burst out laughing again.

"What now?" I asked, turning to see Nudge and Angel holding in their own giggles.

"I'll tell you when we get to a forest," Iggy said, still laughing.

I glared at Fang. "This is all your fault."

"Sorry," he said, not sounding at all sorry.

About ten minutes later, we were able to fly and after a few minutes of flying we came across a forest that seemed deserted enough for us to sleep in.

Angel and Nudge began taking out the food while Gazzy lit a fire.

"You're in charge," I said as I passed Fang. "You, come with me." I grabbed Iggy's arm.

"Talk, now," I commanded.

He laughed. "Apparently, there was a picture accompanying Fang's thought."

"Oh, he's dead."

Iggy began walking back to camp, still laughing.

"Shut it, or I'll take your explosives," I said, marching past him.

I began running back to camp as I heard Nudge scream.

"What? What is it?"

"Ew! Ew, ew, ew!" Nudge shrieked, hiding behind Iggy.

"Fang, what would happen if I touched that?" Gazzy asked, poking whatever had sent Nudge screaming with a stick.

"Well, if you touch it with your skin, your skin will turn all slimy, your eyes will fall out, you'll start foaming at the mouth, and your wings will strangle you," Fang said.

"Ah!" Gazzy shouted, jumping back from the thing.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Dead squirrel," Fang said.

I looked around. "Total?"

"I would never eat something so disgusting! That's what _dogs_ do!"

I resisted the urge to point out that he was, in fact, a dog.

"Just stay away from it you guys. And what Fang said will not happen. Your skin will not turn all slimy, your eyes will not fall out, you will not start foaming at the mouth, and your wings will not strangle you," I said, glaring at Fang. He avoided my gaze.

We ate and soon the younger flock members and Total were asleep, wrapped in all the blankets we had..

"Iggy, you're on watch. Fang, come with me," I commanded, walking into the forest, and away from the flock.

Fang followed me silently, and when I was sure Iggy wouldn't be able to hear us, I whirled around. Fang almost ran into me.

"Explain. _Now_."

"You're hot?"

My jaw dropped.

"Ex_cuse_ me?" I said, "Do you know how completely sexist _pig_ that is!?"

I was beyond outraged. I was ready to beat Fang senseless if I knew he wouldn't be enjoying it.

"Okay, that's not what I meant to say," Fang said, raising his hands in defeat.

"You're, er, really pretty?"

I looked at him, hard. "Thanks, but if you ever think that about me again, I will injure your manhood. And then I'll let Iggy laugh at you because of it," I said, walking back towards the flock.

"Is that offer for getting on top of me and beating me senseless off of the table then?" Fang asked behind me.

"Tomorrow, you are dead. You have until noon to hide, bird-boy."

"Right, let's get back to the flock now," Fang said, actually sounding scared. I grinned.

"Yo, Iggy, you have first watch," I said, climbing up into a tree. Fang climbed a few branches above me.

"Sure," Iggy replied. "But, Max, why don't you move up a few branches. Make Fang's fantasies come true."

"Fang where are Iggy's explosives hidden?"

"In the front pocket of his backpack."

"Thank you."

"I hate both of you."

* * *

**A/N- It's11:56 P.M.**

**Edit- Cool. =) So, I like this. Constructive criticism would be awesome though. ;) Er, here's the guidlines:**

_Theme will be:  
-"The Big City"  
-It doesn't have to be NYC, but in general, the Flock should be in a big city._

The following quotes must be used:  
-"Look! It's the hairy one again!"  
-"Fang, what would happen if I touched that?"  
-"Sure. And afterwards, we'll streak through the park."  
-"Wait until I give the signal."  
-"You're... a beast."

The following words must also be included:  
-fizzy  
-delirious  
-perky  
-rampage

Other requirements:  
-Must be a minimum of 1,200 words, with a maximum of 2,000 words.  
-Must be a oneshot.  
-Must be written in either Max or Fang's POV.  
-Rated T or under. No M, thank you.  
-Genre should be humor, but if you want to go in another direction, feel free.

**Cool?**


End file.
